Friends at Keeneland

This is just some silliness at Keeneland from a couple of years ago when my boy David brought his camera. I figure that if I really want to express myself well here, I'd best add dimension and give people a more solid impression of my life. In other words, expect more video from now on.

Made In America (Part III)

Build National High-Speed Electric Transit System

According to the American Society of Civil Engineers, the United States' infrastructure is nearly destitute. The report, encapsulating everything from water quality to power grids to schools acknowledges America's roads to be particularly defunct as citizens spend 4.2 billion hours a year stuck in traffic costing the economy some $79.2 billion annually. The unavoidable conclusion is that the transit system is in desperate need of restructuring.

In 1990, the United States of America constituted 4.6% of the world population, while responsible for 36.1% of the all greenhouse emissions. The situation has only worsened since, relative to the rest of the planet, as the western superpower remains the only industrial nation on Earth to not have ratified Kyoto Protocol into law.

As American politicians and media outlets banter on about reducing dependence on foreign oil, the skeptic denotes such wording curiously when the general international consensus is that we should have long since begun eliminating our dependence on oil altogether. Considering that the U.S. consumes over 25% of the world's crude and is slated to exhaust her own supply within the next generation, the evidence lends credence to the majority opinion here.

As of January 2009, the American unemployment rate has risen to 7.2%, the worst since '93 and, according to the President of the Economic Policy Institute, is expected to rise above 10%. These statistics are admittedly understated as they do not include people who have been forced into lower wage jobs in desperation. The phenomenon has affected all sectors, spanning all industries from manufacturing to hospitality to mining. Unemployment and underemployment; slashed wages and hours are all at critical levels throughout the country.

For clarity, the aforementioned issues can be stated succinctly as 1) Infrastructure 2) Unemployment and 3) Pollution.

These problems are critical. They are specific. Most importantly, it is feasible that they be solved or at least greatly affected in one magnanimous swoop.

*****

Europe and Japan began incorporating the use of high-speed electric trains to impact the overall capacity and efficiency of their public transportation system shortly after World War II. As America invested billions developing the most expansive highway system on Earth, effectively putting her eggs in one bloated basket, the other technical societies diversified their means of transportation through the employment of planes, automobiles and trains.

A destitute Japan developed its first bullet train in 1964. Historians have indicated its construction to have been paramount to the country's miraculous economic revival for a host of reasons; among them, a dramatically bolstered economy and increased transportation capacity. Furthermore, the effort reflected a trademark distinction of the Japanese economy, one that is often absent in American society— cooperation between government, research bodies and competing manufacturing companies toward the practical alleviation of public needs.

High-speed trains travel over 125 miles per hour and produce no carbon emissions. In Europe, the cost of travel by train is easily more affordable than by automobile before one even considers the cost of gasoline. A two-track high-speed railway has a capacity of nearly 13,000 passengers per hour while taking up significantly less space than modern highways. Railway maintenance is easily more cost effective than that of highways.

Modern trains are safer, cleaner, faster and cheaper than their automotive counterparts. Development and construction of a continental system would require the employment of millions; provide relief to a nearly defunct transit system; reduce oil consumption and pollution; repair a failed infrastructure; all the while making travel more accessible and affordable for every American.

The European rail system, regarded as the most advanced and extensive in the world, connects virtually all of Europe through a system of above ground rails and subterranean tunnels and even an underwater passage which connects the United Kingdom to continental Europe. Dubbed, The Channel Tunnel, construction of 95 miles of tunnels took some 15,000 engineers, technicians and workers over seven years to complete. Total cost was estimated at £10 billion.

Economists estimate that every $1 billion spent in new infrastructure creates 47,000 jobs. As millions of American citizens are faced with the prospect of financial ruin in light of recent historic job losses, the creation of millions of employment opportunities would have an immeasurable effect on both America's economy and her morale, all the while providing desperately needed infrastructural development.

The European and Japanese transit systems both report a substantive annual profit. Though initially costly, an American model would undoubtedly be a viable business venture, over the long term, in the eyes of even the most resolute capitalist.

America's reluctance to follow suit with the rest of the world; her over-reliance on archaic, consumptive technologies and outdated, short-sighted processes; her conservatism; her blind faith in the strengths of unregulated capitalism, despite the available evidence, has resulted in a systemic stagnation which has relegated the citizen to a sullen spectator of his own regression.

An electric, continental, high-speed train system is but the next step out of these dark days and, indeed, towards a better future for ourselves and for our children.

(cont...)

Made In America (Part II)

Nationalize American Automobile Industry

The consequences of allowing the automotive industry to flounder are so flagrantly unacceptable that there should be no need to mention them here. But for the sake of argument and to ensure a thorough presentation, the following endnote will adequately recap the inquisitive mind.

Furthermore, the recent suggestion of allowing foreign automakers to purchase or replace the U.S. industry, effectively outsourcing a potentially viable American market in a time in which Americans are seeking to become less dependent on foreign supplies, reeks of a slovenliness that can only lead to further economic deterioration.

Equally unacceptable should be the prospect of granting any amount of taxpayer dollars to private companies which have 1) produced an impractical and inferior product for the better part of a decade and 2) demonstrated such inability to properly manage their finances as to border on shameful.

The fact is that when certain ecological and political circumstances manifested to compel foreign automakers to "downsize" their product, their American counterparts stubbornly maintained the illusion of a predominant demand for over-sized SUV's. As rising gas prices rendered American spaciousness a non issue, GM and company still failed to adapt.

So while some might contend that this current automotive crisis is merely a side effect of the failing health of other crucial U.S. markets, the reality is that although U.S. auto sales have plunged to a 26 year low as of this publication, a downward spiral has been the general trend for the better part of a decade. Since 1998, the U.S. has been consistently out-competed by Japanese and German automakers dropping from a 70% market share to a dismal 53%. As of early 2009, even the Chinese have risen above the United States in units sold and are a likely candidate for purchasing the American market altogether.

A third, and perhaps most viable, alternative is to effectively nationalize the automotive industry. At an estimated $30 billion to buy GM, the price of nationalization would be nominal beside the prospect of a $35 billion bailout request which is likely to amount to little more than an initial investment to subsidize the debt of GM, Ford and Chrysler. General Motors alone is indebted some $45 billion. The American people will have no choice but to see their investments through once the first checks have cleared. Thus, it is easy to see how this could all result in a rather heavy and extended financial burden if the problem isn't addressed with prudence.

Other key advantages to nationalization include increased transparency over spending, tighter adherence to ecological regulations and a greatly enhanced control over product quality— all of which would have been useful in preventing this problem in the first place and will be necessary to prevent similar disaster in the future.

To put it another way, if America can invest $12 billion a month in the Iraq War alone, then surely she can manage the $30 billion or so to save such a critical and immensely profitable industry from an otherwise perilous fate.

(cont...)

Made In America (Part I)

It is expected that many Americans will regard with an intense aversion and unflinching skepticism, the suggestion that the federal government purchase the U.S. automotive sector. Critics will undoubtedly scoff at the prospect of nationalizing the industry citing that it is Communist or anti-American or any of the other terms that have been wielded over the years to instill fear and distrust in the general populace.

While their concerns must undoubtedly be addressed with a respectful will and a courteous ear, as they are our brothers and sisters in both blood and bond, we must note that these are also the voices of men and women forged in the very system which has unleashed this latest crisis upon the world. Their unwavering derision; their eagerness to ridicule rather than contribute; their tendency towards competition over cooperation is the same dead horse which has dragged us to this most delicate fork in the road. They are echoes from a fading past marked by division and a rigidness that we as a people can no longer afford.

On the contrary, there is nothing more inherently American, indeed, more intrinsically human than to adapt our practices, that which we do in life, according to a more evolved understanding of the world. To be true to such form, one must emphasize function over ideology; place rationale squarely before partisanship and allow welfare to precede acquisition, for at least a time, in the interest of the betterment of all people.

But just as sinister intentions were not necessarily culprits to this gradual unraveling of human affairs; neither is lofty altruism a requisite in order to affect change. The most basic necessity is only that in these difficult times, Americans shift from their purely capitalistic vantage; from obsessing of augmented personal fortune and unadulterated materialism to aim toward a more holistic approach; one that is beneficial to the whole rather than just a few gluttonous parts. Now more than ever, intelligence, innovation and even an uncharacteristic humility will be paramount to our continued strength as a nation and perhaps to our very survival as a species.

Hence, the future rests squarely in the hands of the mindful, the inclusive and the courageous. The fate of our children and grandchildren resides with those who will be wise enough to curb their apprehensions and bold enough to consider possibilities that were once dismissed as mere fiction or fantasy. Where there is a will there is a way, but even the best laid plans can only be manifested through the resolve and sacrifice of a people. America is currently faced with perhaps the greatest set of challenges since her inception. The new age has beckoned us, in no uncertain terms, to rethink and revise the fundamental mechanisms of the past. It is merely a question of deliberation and imagination.

Just as the founding fathers decided precisely how they wanted their government to perform over two centuries ago, the obligation to modify their design according to contemporary need has befallen every subsequent generation. Our duty, while perhaps daunting in degree, is not inherently distinct from that of our forefathers. And if we should deny our responsibility; if we should crumble beneath this weight, then that dark cloud looming forebodingly overhead; that which has left us reeling before war, poverty and impending ecological disaster, is merely a harbinger of things to come.

Thus…this—

Preoccupations

I ran across an old college English assignment that required one to list their "preoccupations" in life. It's a common enough exercise, devised from the understanding that good writers write what they know. My list was shorter than I care to admit now, as if I had not put much stock in the value of the exercise. My professor apparently concurred as she scratched 'More!' down the side of the paper in bright orange highlighter ink. But, at the very least, I though my four entries noteworthy. Particularly the first one:

'I need to be free from limitation,' I'd written.

Again, my professor was compelled to comment, this time in good old-fashioned .07mm.

'What does this mean?' She scribbled, chucking a lanky arrow towards the words.

'What had I meant?' I wonder as my eyes graze the page. I clasp my fingers together and pitch at the small pile forming at the foot of my unmade bed.

Perhaps I'll give it a shot—

I would like to fly to the top of the world and take a long hard look for myself.

I want to read minds and ease ills.

I want to leap from a cliff without hesitation because I can; fold time and talk with my father as a man.

I want to walk through walls, since no cell can contain me; create through sheer acts of will like…let there be light.

I want to swim with the fish; be a bird when they give chase; howl with the whale and the wolf.

I want a broader spectrum; clarity; to bend the gravity.

I want to know the earthquake and the monsoon in my gut; to manuever connections, the ties between the atoms and the Milky Ways.

I want to touch the sun and throw a rock so hard it never come back home…

I want to recognize the road unfolded before me with yellow bricks; to commune with the divine; to plummet straight into the pit of hell and be all the wiser for it.

I want life and liberty.

I want to hold my breath, for almost ever, and explode.

Untitled !

A man
revels in his lust
knowing that it shall one day subside
like the ebbing tide
and allow him to see clearly past his youth;
one fast and free, in truth, but resolute
laden with lessons
between rock and steel
and realness enough
then screechingly halted by the awareness
that he must grow UP --
on the head like a hammer
heard loud and clear
but with a stammer
to twist him for years
with uncertain liasons
and casual moonlit affiliations...
Feet against pavement
seeking their way
beside none other to light the day--
With the length of the road
comes the wear of the soul
and the dawning that
alone
was to be the way of this,
sure to be short excursion
touched like an intrusion
and that other aspirations
were fit only for faint remembrance
between passing moments with strangers
amidst nights that last forever
to the chiding weathering waking hour,
or were at least to be reserved for others
treading another path...
Unwavering
he plods clumsily along
step by step
one foot after another
perhaps all life long---

Bittersweet Foray

Since you have gone, there is no dread like dawn;
loathing and red, as a token of pain.
For fate has spoken and I, a mere pawn,
am deemed unworthy; abandoned in vain.
Knowing your warmth, I abhor its absence.
I lie scorned and burned by its fiery wrath.
Where once was fulfilled, a gaping vastness;
a hapless void. I exist without faith.
Heartache encroaches upon reflection.
Despair has risen on a wretched pew.
Unashamed, I yearn for your affection
and reject that which I know to be true—
Dusk will fall on the most glorious day.
And thus, fairwell..my bittersweet foray.

Tidbits #1

I'm still not out of the woods yet.
While a newfound occupation has given me hope regarding my financial concerns, it's quite the hole I've managed to dig for myself. My kind old landlord has done his part to defend me against the owner of my apartment building, who would probably opt to evict me if he could do so without seeming like a villian. But I've got some money for him yet and more soon to come if all goes well in the near future.
I might not have to sell my Lincoln after all. Not that I could really justify driving it considering all the greenhouse effect hooplah.
The earth is getting hotter, there's no doubt about it. We're all going to hell in a handbasket. Some just get there sooner than others, I imagine. One thing's for damn certain, though, the situation isn't improved one iota if I'm lugging my fat ass Lincoln around the block for kicks at three dollars a gallon.
I'll probably just leave her parked...
Looks like the semester's begun without me. Good luck to all those whose biggest concerns are midterms and finals. I wish I could be there, really, but it seems like some of us are meant for other things.
Just over two weeks until the big day.
This is going to be interesting.
Be cool.

The Well

Not sure what to say, really. One thinks so many things. Where to begin?
Ahh...the mundane.

Babies. I imagine two; maybe three with the right girl. Resources. A moment to marinate. All normal aspirations, certainly.

But the feeling in my gut makes me doubt the likelihood of any of it.
Que será, será.

A mere mortal is the master of his domain no more than a leaf on a breeze decides the course of the flight. Me thinks a man can flail about with all his might, but he must still ride the wave treading inevitably towards the grave. One may swim better than another, but the river beats them all. So be it.

No babies. No lovely lady today. I didn't want them anyway.

Perhaps no resources either but if there is one lesson to be taken from my boot camp of a childhood it's that I am not the sum of public opinion. Despite every subliminal assertion to the contrary, I am not the number of notches on my headboard and I'm not my fucking Jordans.
Nope. I will walk whether I wear them or not.

In fact, I have perceived a direct correlation between the degree of my deprivation, whichever variety, and the intensity of my life.

The less I have, the more I feel.

This vividness was, at first, relegated strictly to suffering, but suddenly other less familiar impulses came reeling into my awareness. In the current analysis, it was the opportunity to remain undistracted; to be left alone with my internal workings that made me cognizant of a part of myself which I had never known before.

'Clearly', I realized, 'I am a work in progress.'

At the bottom of the well, The Fool discovers that as he has been engaged in the regular functioning of his life, within him has raged a rather sordid civil conflict. As he has gone about his days working, praying, striving to make himself pristine in the eyes of the world, an eyesore lie in hiding just beneath the surface of his psyche. Like a motor unmaintained for the better part of a lifetime, he is in dire need of an overhaul. He is fractured. He learns that the part of him which contained his conscious identity is, in fact, only a shard of a greater entity. He is a fragment glued to other fragments, the rest of them lurking in wait at the bottom of the well.

It is here that he is left alone to contend with the darkest parts of himself.

It is here where he inevitably either wins or loses.

If he wins, then he is free to resume the course of his humble existence and the event, his breakdown, is written off as an aberration; an anomaly with no one the wiser.

But if he loses, then The Fool is forced to come to terms with that which he would have otherwise ignored. He understands, now, that these are not vagrants to be extinguished in the interest of vanity. This is the yin of the man; as integral to his wholeness as food and water. And our fool has no further interest in climbing out of the darkness, just in walking the shadows unafraid.

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

I have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up.

I believe in fate, but I still don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my own life.

I am here because I know something.

What that is exactly? I can’t say, but I feel it. I've felt it my entire life; that there is something wrong with the world.

I don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in my mind, driving me mad.

I am a slave.

I was born into bondage; into a prison that I cannot taste or smell or touch; a prison for my mind.

And that is why I’m here. It’s why I hardly sleep; why I live alone and why, night after night, I sit at my computer.

I’m looking for something. I’m looking for an answer.

But it’s the questions that drive me…